Finally got around to confronting the giant elephant thats been dancing in the back of my mind. I tried to keep busy and not think of him, but I knew that wouldn't last. It helped me not completely break down and lose it again, but I knew that if I never got around to facing it I was never going to truly get past it. Had a horrible couple of days, and unfortunately that leaves big gaps for things to slide through into my thoughts, and its always things that will make me feel worse. So today Ive been listening to music and trying so very hard to unload all of the crap, and get on with it. So i also got a chance to write about him, and I know now that I am going to be ok, I am getting over him because the first thing I wrote wasn't about being in love and still heartbroken and full of longing. it tells it how it was, and that I'm free to move on and heal...
As long as i don't have to see him or talk to him I'll be fine...might even be a time in the near future I'll be fine even then. so goodbye and good riddance...
you were the one for me, finally found,
the feelings were instant, and burned bright,
burned so brightly so fast there was nothing left,
left me here alone, scarred, and left bound,
Just the thought of you always brought me a smile,
the smiles have all gone and left behind the pain,
the memories of your kisses and warmth of your arms,
have been replaced by doubts, was this ever worth while?
you swore there was something here, something real,
but instead of believing in us, believing in love,
you left, took the easy route, the shortest path,
the path that led to a hole, and that's your deal.
Don't call to me to save you, you chose your fate,
I'll remember you, whether I want to or not,
but I'm free to move on, free to heal from this,
while you'll always remember, stuck in a life you hate.